


I'm not a hero

by Llamaonfire



Category: The Beatles
Genre: 50's, M/M, Sad, teddy boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 10:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llamaonfire/pseuds/Llamaonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Request:  I had a request for a fanfiction if you could be so kind :)) could you write something where john has a nightmare and the only person who can comfort him is Paul??? That’s be absolutely adorable<br/>Rating: PG-13 (Kissing and violent reality)<br/>Time line: 1958-1959<br/>Pairing: Mclennon</p><p>Note: John did actually have “hallucination” or “very vivid dreams” when he was a young child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not a hero

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr post: http://thewritingberry.tumblr.com/post/73982069039/im-not-a-hero-request

Psychology says that when the human brain is presented with a dangerous situation it is wired to either fight for survival or run away from danger, but what if there was no possibility of a fight and it wasn’t you that had to run away.

Grief was all that was left for a young ,17 year old John Lennon. He was left useless, defenseless when his mother was taken away by a drunken, off duty policeman.

Night came to haunt him. There she was again. Her curly, ginger locks and timeless beauty now shadowed blood, dirt and sadness. Her eyes, that once made his day brighter were now bloodshot and lifeless.

John’s eyes watered at the horrendous image of his mother as he gasped lightly. “Mum?”

"Look at what you did to me? Where were you? I needed you, my angel, my hero." Her voice was broken, pleading, cutting into John’s chest like a butcher’s knife carves into a dead animal.

He was at lost with words, soaking in his own thoughts as he spoke in a small voice, stepping back. “I’m sorry I…. I couldn’t…”  

"You could! You are my hero, you needed to save me, now look at me!" She came closer to him making John step away. "You’re running away from me!" She cried as blood ran down her face from the open wound on her head and fell to the ground.

"I couldn’t…. I had to be I couldn’t …. I’m sorry!!!! I’m sorry !!" He shouted his pain out with all the air in his lungs.

"John? John wake up!" He suddenly hear opening his eyes as he almost jumped up. His body was completely sweaty and shaking, his vision blurry, till he was handed his heavily framed glasses. His eyes focused on his cousin Leila who stood in front of him. Her little features looked at him worriedly, but all he saw was his mother. He shouted, scared curling into himself on the small bed. "I’m sorry!!" Leila ran away to her aunt Mimi. "Aunty John has gone mad!" She exclaimed at Mimi who was already halfway down the hall due to John’s gut wrenching scream.  

"Go to your sister Leila." Mimi order before walking into John’s room.

He was shaking still, curved up into himself. He looked up with hope in his eyes, but soon the hope was gone again as he mumbled thing to himself.

"John, what’s wrong?" Mimi asked quietly, sitting next to him.

"I’m sorry, it was my fault!!! I’m sorry" He gasped out still curled into himself.

"John…"Mimi reached out to calm him down, but he moved away. "Get away or I’ll end up killing you too!"

Mimi was startled and stood up quickly. “John it wasn’t you…”

"Get awaaaay!" He cried out again.

It was obvious to Mimi that she wasn’t gonna be able to calm John down. This pained her, but she knew one person that would be able to help her nephew. The person John ran to when he hear the news and the person he begged to go to in this cursed night.

Paul.

"Mr. McCartney? Yes I know the time , but there is an emergency. John has gone mad, screaming and shouting and I fear that the only one that’ll calm him is Paul… Yes… Thank you. Please be quick." She spoke into the phone as John repeated over and over again in his room as the image of his mother stood, wordless before him, looking lifelessly into his frightened eyes.  "I couldn’t… I’m not a hero…. I need to, but I couldn’t….."

Soon Jim and Paul arrived, both dressed and mismatched outfit, obviously having dressed in a hurry. “where is he?!” Paul sounded alarmed and worried as he walked into the house.

“His room.” Mimi spoke drily.

“I better go too, dunno how bad it could get.” Jim followed Paul, soon followed as well by Mimi. Upon arriving at the room in the end of the narrow hall Paul stopped at the door, turning to his father and mimi. “He doesn’t like people seeing him broken, it’s best one two stay where he can’t see you.” The his voice was worried, but none of the less mature, knowing how to deal with John perfectly.

With a deep breath he opened the door, calling out in a very soft tone. “John?”

John looked up, but unlike with the others he didn’t frown or shout, instead he simply, quietly wheaped. “I killed her, Paul.”

“No, John. You didn’t.” Paul came closer to John, kneeling next to the bed.

“She keeps looking at me, saying I was her hero and that I need to save her.” John spoke frantically, his eyes wider than normal out of nervousness and fright.

It was the hallucinations again. John had told Paul that when he was a little boy he used to have very vivid dreams while awake, dreams that would haunt him in the worst moments possible. This had passed for a good 5 years, but with the death of his mother the hallucinations somehow came back worse than ever. Paul felt his heart tighten as he realised that John was being haunted by the image of his own mother putting the blame on him for her death. He too had felt a similar guilt as a younger lad, so he knew perfectly how much it hurt.

The younger one sat on the bed guiding John into his arms without a word, simply hugging him. Paul knew that nor he or anyone was gonna convince John that he wasn’t guilty, only time could do that, but he did know that what John needed was simply someone to hug him and remind him of the good in the world.

This was what Paul was for John, not just now, but every day of his life Paul was what gave him hope, happiness, excitement for the future.

Mimi and Jim watched for afar as the two boy melted into each other’s arms, nothing but soft sobs were heard till a quiet mumble can from John. “I’m not a hero, I couldn’t be, I didn’t save her.”

Paul pulled back slightly, running his thumb over John’s wet cheeks as he sniffed. “You don’t need to be a hero, John. You’re brilliant in your own twisted ways, you daft fool.” Paul smiled sweetly as he squeezed the other boy’s shoulder. It took a minute, but soon both boys giggled at Paul’s statement.

Jim and Mimi smiled. They knew their boys well enough to know that, that was their own special little way of saying how much they cared.


End file.
